Want to Handle Difficult Conversations Better? 1 Simple Trick Will Help You Stay Calm and in Control

Why naming your inner voice might be the key to staying calm under pressure.

EXPERT OPINION BY HENNA PRYOR, WORKPLACE PERFORMANCE EXPERT,

Inc.

OCT 5, 2024

In the article "Want to Handle Difficult Conversations Better? 1 Simple Trick Will Help You Stay Calm and in Control" (October 5, 2024), workplace performance expert Henna Pryor discusses how naming your inner voice can be a powerful tool to stay calm and composed during challenging conversations. Pryor explains that this technique, rooted in neutral thinking and cognitive defusion, allows individuals to manage their emotional reactions by creating mental distance between themselves and their thoughts.

Pryor introduces the concept of neutral thinking, coined by Trevor Moawad, which encourages focusing on objective, fact-based truths without attaching emotional labels to situations. This mindset helps individuals avoid the common tendency to interpret events negatively or emotionally, allowing them to remain grounded in reality. By practicing neutral thinking, people can focus on concrete facts rather than being swept away by emotional interpretations. For instance, if someone interrupts you in a meeting, neutral thinking would prompt you to focus on the fact ("They interrupted me") rather than interpreting it emotionally ("They don’t respect me").

Cognitive defusion, a related psychological concept, helps individuals change their relationship with their thoughts. Instead of treating thoughts as absolute truths that drive behavior, cognitive defusion encourages recognizing thoughts as temporary and separate from reality. This technique, combined with neutral thinking, helps manage emotional reactions, making it easier to stay calm under pressure.

Naming your inner voice is a practical application of cognitive defusion. Pryor explains that when people experience stress or negative emotions during difficult conversations, naming the internal voice that expresses these thoughts helps create distance from them. By recognizing that the thoughts aren’t necessarily true, individuals can regain control over their emotional responses. Pryor shares a personal example: growing up in a strict household made her hesitant to challenge authority. During a challenging conversation with a leader, she realized that her emotional reaction was linked to past conditioning. By naming her inner voice "Little Henna," she could acknowledge it, separate from it, and remind herself that the current situation was different.

This approach allows individuals to detach from emotional triggers and respond to situations more thoughtfully. For example, Pryor recalls a writer who named his inner voice "Crow." When negative thoughts arose, he could distance himself by addressing the crow and redirecting his focus to the facts.

Naming your inner voice helps navigate uncomfortable situations like awkwardness or difficult feedback. Instead of becoming overwhelmed, individuals can acknowledge their emotions, reduce the intensity of their reactions, and remain present in the conversation. Pryor emphasizes that practicing this technique fosters curiosity and self-compassion, enabling individuals to manage discomfort more effectively.

In conclusion, naming your inner voice is a practical mental skill that empowers individuals to handle difficult conversations with greater control and clarity. By embracing techniques like neutral thinking and cognitive defusion, individuals can remain calm, focused, and composed, ultimately leading to more productive and less emotionally charged interactions.

Original detailed URL: https://www.inc.com/henna-pryor/want-to-handle-difficult-conversations-better-1-simple-trick-will-help-you-stay-calm-in-control.html

Original Article

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Prepared with the assistance of AI software

OpenAI. (2024). ChatGPT (4) [Large language model]. https://chat.openai.com