Today’s Parents: ‘Exhausted, Burned Out and Perpetually Behind’

The surgeon general is warning about parents’ stress, a sign that intensive parenting may have become too intense for parents.

By Claire Cain Miller

NY Times

Published Sept. 14, 2024

The article “Today’s Parents: ‘Exhausted, Burned Out and Perpetually Behind’” from The New York Times explores the increasing pressures and stress faced by modern parents, with a focus on how these challenges have escalated to a national health concern. The U.S. Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek Murthy, has highlighted parental stress as a significant public health issue, likening it to the health risks of smoking or AIDS in its societal impact.

The core of the problem lies in the concept of "intensive parenting," a trend that has grown in recent decades. Intensive parenting demands that parents devote increasing time, energy, and resources to their children’s education, extracurricular activities, and personal development. Sociologists Melissa Milkie and Kei Nomaguchi describe this style as a methodical effort to shape every aspect of a child's future, which, while aiming to benefit children, places an extraordinary burden on parents. Historically, the stress parents face has always existed, but today’s fears—ranging from economic pressures to safety concerns, like school shootings—amplify the difficulties parents must navigate.

Contributing to this issue is the lack of systemic support in the United States. Unlike other developed nations, the U.S. provides minimal federal policies around family support, such as paid parental leave or subsidized childcare. As a result, parents are left to juggle demanding work lives while fulfilling societal expectations of near-constant involvement in their children's lives. Kirsten Swinth, a history professor at Fordham University, points out that the U.S. government’s historical resistance to involving itself in family matters, particularly since the Reagan era, has contributed to the “free-riding” on parental labor—expecting them to bear the full responsibility of child-rearing without adequate support.

The article further notes that parental burnout can have severe mental health consequences, which are rarely acknowledged in societal discourse. The Surgeon General’s call to address this issue underscores the need for more significant social and policy changes to alleviate the unrelenting pressures parents face today.

For more insights on this topic, you can read the full article

Original Article-

-----------------------------

Prepared with the assistance of AI software

OpenAI. (2024). ChatGPT (4) [Large language model]. https://chat.openai.com