I Once Made a Student Cry, and It Made Me a Better Teacher

EdSurge Articles

by Edgar Miguel Grajeda

Feb 19, 2025

In his February 19, 2025, EdSurge article, "I Once Made a Student Cry, and It Made Me a Better Teacher," Edgar Miguel Grajeda reflects on a pivotal classroom incident that reshaped his approach to teaching and underscored the importance of empathy and humility in education.

The Incident

Grajeda recounts an episode involving a typically attentive fourth-grade student who began exhibiting disruptive behavior during class. Despite employing various classroom management techniques—such as positive narration, proximity, and whole-class attention-getters—the student's behavior did not improve. When Grajeda issued a verbal warning, the student reacted unexpectedly, expressing frustration and defiance. Perplexed by this uncharacteristic outburst, Grajeda asked the student to step outside for a private conversation. During this exchange, he sensed an underlying issue and, acting on instinct, apologized to the student, acknowledging that he might have contributed to her distress. This gesture prompted the student to break into silent tears, revealing the depth of her emotional turmoil. Grajeda then provided her with space and time to regain composure before rejoining the class.

Reflection and Realization

This incident led Grajeda to a profound realization about the dynamics of respect and authority in the classroom. He observed that while educators often emphasize the importance of students apologizing for misbehavior, they seldom model this behavior themselves. This asymmetry can reinforce rigid power structures, especially in schools serving marginalized communities, where compliance is often prioritized over connection. Grajeda references Paulo Freire's "Pedagogy of the Oppressed," highlighting that education should foster self-awareness, critical thinking, and emotional intelligence, rather than merely enforcing obedience. By offering a sincere apology, Grajeda demonstrated vulnerability and respect, signaling to his students that their feelings and experiences are valid and important.

Impact on Student Behavior

Following this event, Grajeda noticed a significant positive shift in the student's behavior. She became more attentive, engaged, and diligent in her studies. This transformation was not driven by fear of consequences but by a renewed sense of being valued and understood. This experience reinforced the idea that when students feel respected and acknowledged, they are more likely to exhibit positive behaviors and engage meaningfully in their learning.

Broader Implications for Teaching

Grajeda's experience underscores the power of humility and empathy in teaching. He advocates for educators to model the behaviors they wish to instill in their students, including admitting mistakes and offering genuine apologies. Such actions can humanize the teacher-student relationship, challenge traditional hierarchies, and create a classroom environment conducive to mutual respect and growth. By shifting from a control-oriented approach to one centered on connection and understanding, educators can empower students to navigate the world with empathy and integrity.

Conclusion

This narrative serves as a compelling reminder that effective teaching extends beyond the delivery of academic content. It involves modeling the very qualities—such as respect, humility, and emotional awareness—that educators seek to cultivate in their students. By embracing vulnerability and acknowledging their own fallibility, teachers can foster a more inclusive and supportive learning environment, ultimately leading to deeper connections and more meaningful educational experiences.

Original Article

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Prepared with the assistance of AI software

OpenAI. (2025). ChatGPT (4) [Large language model]. https://chat.openai.com