How To Handle Bad Grades: A Practical Guide For Parents

October 30, 2024

by Ann Dolin

Education Connections

In “How To Handle Bad Grades: A Practical Guide For Parents,” Ann Dolin offers strategies for parents facing the challenging task of responding constructively to their child’s poor grades. Recognizing that conversations about grades can vary from explicit expectations to subtler encouragement, Dolin’s guide focuses on balancing parental concern with supportive actions that build both accountability and resilience in children.

Initial Reaction and Communication

Dolin’s first recommendation is to create emotional distance by not reacting immediately to a bad report card. Rather than letting frustration drive the conversation, parents should schedule a time to discuss the grade calmly. Using open language that invites discussion, such as “I noticed…” rather than “You did…,” can help avoid placing blame and opens a dialogue for understanding what might have led to the poor performance. This phrasing signals that the parent is interested in understanding the child’s experience, fostering a team mentality to address academic challenges.

Consequences and Rewards

Dolin advises against common reactions like setting harsh consequences or offering excessive rewards. She suggests that consequences should be relevant and constructive. For example, tying privileges like screen time to academic effort rather than outcomes encourages responsibility without penalizing children’s confidence-building activities, such as sports. Conversely, excessive rewards for grades, such as money or vacations, tend to decrease intrinsic motivation. Children need to feel motivated internally, and large, external rewards often fail to inspire sustained academic effort.

Identifying Root Causes

A key part of Dolin’s approach is investigating the underlying causes of poor performance, which can often stem from gaps in either content knowledge or essential “soft skills” like organization, time management, and study techniques. If the issue is subject-specific, Dolin recommends tutoring or extra support. When soft skills are the problem, however, the issue may affect multiple subjects, and parents can work with their children to establish better organizational habits and a consistent homework routine. Dolin also suggests coordinating with teachers or considering a homework club to reinforce these skills.

Authoritative Parenting and Letting Go

Dolin highlights the importance of authoritative parenting—being supportive but firm. This approach encourages children’s independence while offering guidance. Dolin warns against slipping into helicopter parenting, where parents over-manage children’s schoolwork. She uses the metaphor of Jenga to describe gradually removing “scaffolding” support as children grow, ensuring they build resilience without overwhelming them.

Developing Study Skills

Many children lack effective study skills, with a common mistake being re-reading material rather than actively testing knowledge. Dolin suggests study guides, distraction-free environments, and structured study routines to help students learn efficiently. Teaching these skills can help children become more independent learners.

Ultimately, Dolin encourages parents to be proactive rather than reactive. By planning and using these techniques, parents can positively influence their child’s response to academic challenges, promoting resilience and self-motivation for long-term success.

Original Article

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Prepared with the assistance of AI software

OpenAI. (2024). ChatGPT (4) [Large language model]. https://chat.openai.com