Title: "How to give a eulogy, and other difficult speeches, according to a Stanford business school lecturer"

By Matt Abrahams

Fast Company

In his article "How to give a eulogy, and other difficult speeches, according to a Stanford business school lecturer," Matt Abrahams shares valuable insights on delivering emotionally charged speeches, drawing from his personal experience of presenting his father's eulogy. This article, published on Leadership Now, provides practical advice for educators and individuals facing challenging speaking engagements.

Abrahams begins by recounting his apprehension when tasked with delivering his father's eulogy, despite his expertise as a communication teacher and coach. He outlines two major concerns: crafting a clear and concise portrait of his father and navigating the speech without letting his emotions overshadow the intended message. The challenges he faced are not unique to eulogies but extend to various emotionally charged situations such as debates, toasts, or speeches at significant life events.

To address these challenges, Abrahams proposes a two-pronged approach: structuring remarks and preparing to deliver them. He advocates for the use of frameworks and structures, emphasizing their role in providing logical connections, offering a roadmap for prioritizing messages, and aiding audience understanding. The three structures he finds most useful for eulogies are chronology-based, theme-based, and embodiment-based, each bringing a distinct perspective to the tribute.

Abrahams, a proponent of authenticity, acknowledges the importance of emotions in delivering impactful messages. However, he advises on balancing the emotional component, ensuring that it enhances rather than detracts from the intended message. The author's choice of a theme-based structure for his father's eulogy, focusing on his unique voice and its impact, exemplifies the effectiveness of a well-thought-out approach.

The second aspect of Abrahams' strategy involves deliberate preparation for emotional engagement. Drawing inspiration from a basketball coach's advice on free throw shooting, he suggests practicing speeches under conditions similar to the actual emotional and physical states. By intentionally simulating emotional arousal through activities like jogging or reflecting on poignant memories, speakers can better equip themselves for the challenge.

The author concludes by highlighting the significance of early arrival to the venue, sharing his personal experience of finding solace and focus by being present in the room before others arrived. Abrahams emphasizes that the successful delivery of an emotionally laden speech requires focused effort, clear structure, and intentional practice. Ultimately, he hopes that individuals facing similar situations can gain confidence by leveraging these strategies.

Abrahams' article serves as a valuable resource for educators and speakers, offering practical guidance on navigating emotionally charged speeches with authenticity, structure, and intentional preparation.

Link to the original article