How to Get Commands Obeyed in the Classroom

From the Marshall Memo #426

In this NYC Educator article, “Miss Eyre” describes how she, a “young, petite, and female” teacher, learned to give commands to significantly larger high-school students (she credits Jim Fay’s book, Teaching with Love and Logic). “One of the most powerful constructions of phrase I have as a management tool is ‘I need you to…please.’ … Notice that it’s not a request – it’s a very clear, polite command. Lisa Delpit and others have written about how young people from cultures in which it is more common to command children hear questions about behavior as actual questions to which a negative response is acceptable.” For example, when asked, “Could you please put that phone away?” a student might very well respond, “No.” 

“‘I need you to put that phone away, please,’ however, sends several important messages,” Eyre believes: 

• It’s clearly a command.
• The first three words convey that it’s given for a reason.
• The reason is that the phone is interfering with the mission of the class.
• The “please” tells the student that you haven’t forgotten your manners and are treating him or her with respect. 
• It sounds like a reasonable request.
• But it doesn’t leave a lot of room for argument or complaint. 

“They may make a face,” says Eyre, or mumble ‘Damn, miss, you beastin’’ under their breath while they do it, but they’ll do it. And the other 29 kids in the room will notice.” 

The final step is to say, “Thank you.” “It’s my version of ‘case closed,’” says Eyre. “We’re finished dealing with this issue and I trust that it won’t come up again. Moving on.”

“I Need You to Put That Phone Away Now, Please” by Miss Eyre in NYC Educator, March 1, 2012, http://nyceducator.com/2012/03/i-need-you-to-put-that-phone-away-no...