In the end, the recent college admissions scandal can teach parents one of two lessons: create your own broad definition of success and parent your kids out of hope and conviction, or default to our culture’s narrow definition of success and act out of fear and anxiety.

The deleterious effects on students who chase the narrow markers of “success”—grades, test scores, resume-building accomplishments and admissions to prestigious colleges—are well-documented. The academic and extracurricular load required to compete often means compromising integrity, sleep, mental health and overall well-being, all the while research clearly dispels myths about the importance of attending elite colleges.

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