There is no shortage of experts to chase when a child shows signs of autism. But wisdom also comes from another kind of specialist — families who have walked the road before. Their advice ranges from ‘trust your gut’ to ‘be persistent.’ Here is some advice on coping in the early days after a diagnosis, edited and condensed.

Tammy Starr, of Toronto, mother of Carly Fleischmann, 17:

Steel yourself for the fact this is not going to be easy. It’s going to be a lifelong fight and there’s no blueprint.

Unfortunately, it comes down to what you can afford right away, because (publicly-funded) services involve all kinds of wait lists. That’s the cold, hard truth. Be prepared to go into debt, borrow from family, increase your mortgage, take out a line of credit to pay for intervention while you are waiting.

It can be lonely, so find other parents (of children with autism) you can speak to without filters, and to brainstorm.

Approach it one day at a time, otherwise it’s too overwhelming. Be persistent. Call about your position on wait lists. Show up in person. No one is going to look out for your child’s best interests like you will.

A therapist once said to me, ‘If your child does something once, then it’s in there.’ I’ve never forgotten that.

Carly Fleischmann, 17, of Toronto, who has autism, from her chapter in the book Carly’s Voice and her website:

I always had a voice. It was just inside of me. I would talk to myself and even reply back to people sometimes even though they couldn’t hear me.

I do believe we all have an inner voice and it’s just trying to find its way out.

Go with your gut, not the book. If you think something will work, try it. And always believe in your child. They will feed off of that.

Paul Stellato,of Woodbridge, father of Matthew, 5, and Michael, 4:

Don’t be in denial. If you think something’s wrong, pursue it. The best thing you can do is understand what you are faced with and do what you can to deal with it.

I’m never going to give up hope; I see the progress they are making.

Their lives aren’t going to be worse, they’re just going to be different.

Amy Baskin,of Guelph, mother of Talia, 20, and co-author ofMore Than a Mom:

Other parents will provide support and save you hours of trying to figure out how services work. Keep friendships with parents of typically developing kids alive. Tell them how to help, and what kind of play date might work.

Don’t compare. Some kids progress dramatically and end up in a high school gifted class. Others, despite all kinds of therapies, don’t. But all kids learn, change and love.

Put your physical and mental health at the top of your to-do list. If you fall apart, your family falls apart. Spend time with friends and get a break from constantly thinking, breathing and living autism.

Talia Baskin-Kessleman, 20, of Guelph, who has autism:

When I was little, I felt like the fussiest girl. I feel good now. I like to talk. I like reading, going to cooking class and Facebook chatting.

If you have a little kid with autism, you should pick them up and hold them. Love them. And don’t worry.

Sharon Gabison,of Maple, mother of Eric, 15:

Every child has an ability or interest that might not be apparent at first. Find it, tap into it and nurture it and you will be able to use that to teach them many other things.

A child with autism, especially in the early years, will have spurts of development. It’s staggered and uneven. I will never say my son can’t do something.

Be willing to accept help. It really does take a village to raise these kids.

Joel Yanofsky,(author ofBad Animals: A Father’s Accidental Education in Autism) andCynthiaDavisof Montreal, parents of Jonah, 13:

When it comes to your child’s future, no so-called expert can tell you what it will be. Things get better, maybe not easier, but better. We adjust and adapt. Learn to measure progress in increments and celebrate the small things you and your child accomplish together.

Aim high. There will be improvement, lots of it. Use approaches based on evidence. If you are stuck on a waiting list, find out what to do to get started on your own. Get an iPad and join Apps for Autism on Facebook.

Suzanne Lanthier,of Toronto, mother of Scott, 13:

Pay attention to research but listen to your instinct. You know your child best — and don’t let anyone tell you differently.

If you can only afford two hours of treatment a week, do it. Two hours with the right therapist is better than no hours and better than 20 hours with one who isn’t adequately trained.

Get yourself and your child out in the community. Wear autism awareness T-shirts so the odd looks, stares, whispers will be understood — at least a little.

Your child will continue to learn and change. It won’t stop at age 6, 16, 26 or 60. Never lose hope.