I have a confession. When I started teaching in 1992, I really didn’t know what I was doing. I walked into my first classroom as a 5th grade teacher with a strong work ethic and an idealistic enthusiasm to change the world through children. However, no undergraduate program can properly prepare one for the rigors of having one’s own classroom. I wanted to be a teacher that promoted local and global social awareness and a passion for learning. What I knew for sure was that my priority was to create a classroom environment that was safe, non-judgmental, and nurturing. My instincts told me that if I could accomplish this, the children would be open to learning. Twenty-one years later, this ideal has not changed.

Looking back, I realize that I had very little knowledge of how to teach reading, writing, math, social studies, and science. This I developed on the job through trial and error. This was before New York State Standards and high stakes testing, which gave me the freedom to explore and experiment. There are very few things more difficult than the first few years teaching, but I knew that if I did right by kids, I would be on the right track.

I can honestly say that I have loved all of my students. Sure, some kids tested me, frustrated me, or even forced me to question my ability as a teacher. That never precluded my positive personal feelings for a child. However, today, I will focus on one particular student. Any caring teacher will tell you that one of the greatest aspects of the job is seeing how a student grows, develops, and succeeds. That brings me to today’s message.

Michael was a fifth grader in my class during my second year teaching. As a fifth grader, he was a passionate kid who stated his opinions thoughtfully and with fire. He was not concerned with how he would be perceived by his classmates as his purpose was not to gain approval by his peers. I remember being impressed with this quality as this is the age when children begin to develop self-consciousness. Michael was bright, but needed to work hard. He was well liked, had a sense of humor, and treated everyone with kindness.

Michael had his struggles though. He suffered with anxiety. Anxiety for a child can be debilitating and heartbreaking for the parents. Imagine a child who cannot express why he is scared, sad, or feeling physically ill though not sick. Imagine a parent doing everything possible to make their child feel better or trying to say just the right thing only to get their kid through the day, but striking out every time. Bob and Claire, Michael’s parents, and I worked together to make sure that Michael’s days were happy and productive. This was a true partnership. We talked often as we kept each other informed so we could respond to Michael appropriately—not just to make him happy, but so he could continue to be academically successful. Though Michael had some very difficult times, on most days, he was happy and productive.

I remember talking on the phone with Bob late that school year. He was thanking me for being supportive, caring, and accessible. I humbly explained that I was just doing what I considered to be my job, and my genuine care for Michael made it easy for me to be there for him in anyway I could. I was 24 years old and engaged to be married. Bob then explained, “One day, when you have your own children, you will understand why what you did for Michael was so important. We will forever be grateful.” I remember thanking him, but I have vivid memories of me shrugging my shoulders because I didn’t understand what the big deal was. That was until about ten years later when my son had his own battles with debilitating anxiety. My wife and I felt the heartbreak, frustration, and sadness that Bob and Claire felt. We realized how important the school was as we used every resource they offered. We appreciated the extra care and love our son was given, and we were infuriated with school staff who did not respond the way Jordan needed. Though our son still has moments of anxiety, he is a thriving high school student who would not be where he is without the partnership created between the school and us. I finally understood Bob’s sentiments during that phone call.

Michael and I are Facebook friends. I was in awe as he posted pictures of himself as a world traveler and as a doctoral student. I remember feeling reassured for our son seeing Michael overcome his own obstacles, so his great strengths may blossom. My wife and I would look at Michael’s pictures and Facebook posts, and know that our son will also meet his enormous potential and will not be held back.

This past weekend I had the extreme honor of attending a party at Bob and Claire’s house as we celebrated Michael’s accomplishment of obtaining his doctorate. It has been close to twenty years since I have seen him face to face. Actually, considering his height, that’ll never happen. It was more like face to chest. (I’m the short one.) He talked about his research and passions so enthusiastically. He explained that he was a computer science major as an undergrad, but felt the need to make a social impact on the world. He then asked himself how he could meld these two passions into purposeful work. As he explained this to me, it was exactly as I remembered him as a ten year old boy. However, I was talking to a remarkable man.

During the conversation, he explained how his time in my class helped shape his social consciousness. He remembered how we, as a class, would discuss issues through current events, literature, science, and history in free flowing conversation and debate. He told me that he remembers feeling safe……safe to make mistakes, safe to state his opinion without fear of being judged, and just plain safe knowing his needs will be met. I am not reporting this to be boastful, but Michael forced me to reflect on those early years of my teaching. I was a 24 year old kid whose teaching instincts were simply to create an environment in which children could thrive. I guess the academic learning naturally followed. I am not saying that my impact on Michael was so great that his success is a direct result of my work with him, but he certainly made it clear that fifth grade was a critical time for him emotionally and academically. I am thrilled (and relieved that I didn’t mess it up) that he feels I gave him what he needed most at that time in his life.

This post shares a student’s story to which so many teachers can relate. We never really know or understand the depth of our impact when our students are in our care. Michael and I were fortunate our paths crossed. I am honored that he remembers my classroom as a safe haven for him to feel emotionally protected so he may develop the social consciousness that continues to drive his work today. I am also grateful for the lessons I learned from him and his wonderful family that transferred to my own family’s needs as we coached our son through his own anxiety-driven challenges.

The impact teachers make on their students that are similar and comparable to Michael’s story are immeasurable by high stakes testing. How does one put a number on the intense human connections we make with students and their families? It is these relationships that guide students toward their passions and successes. We must remember this, so that our mission to tirelessly work in the best interest of children never wavers. We must trust our instincts, because if our ideal is to do what is in our students’ best interests, we will be right.

I want to note that Michael’s parents are extraordinary. They have four children; two of whom I had the pleasure of teaching. Each offer the world something different and purposeful. Meet one and you can’t help but want to be part of their family in some way. I was young and naïve when I first met this special family. I realize now that I learned much more from them than I could have offered Michael and his brother, Shane, who was in my class the following year. A fantastic young man himself.

The tagline of my blog is “Reminders of why I became a teacher over twenty years ago.” Certainly having an impact on a child such as Michael is the major reason why I became a teacher, but never could I anticipate the complete reward when I started back in ’92. The remarkable thing is how it took over 21 years to realize the fullness of my experience with this one student.

Man, I love this job.

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