Mommy, It’s Only A Game

(Has competitiveness gone too far?)

By

Dr. Louis. C. D’Aquila, D.A., CFT

Email: ldaquila@verizon.net

About the author: The author of this article is a retired teacher, former varsity track and soccer coach and adjunct college professor. Presently active as a certified personal and holistic fitness trainer and volunteer at a local nursing home, Dr. D’Aquila has been involved in sports in various capacities for his entire life. Ranging from being a high school and college sprinter and football running back to running the first Five-Borough New York City Marathon, his experience in sports far exceeds the levels of Little League Baseball and CYO Basketball. Having served in the U.S. Army in Germany as a combat medic and surgical technician, Dr. D’Aquila remained in Germany after his tour of duty working as the director of marketing and sales for surgical equipment with a major U.S. company based in North Carolina before attending German medical school for one year in Munich. In 1986 her resumed his teaching and coaching career on Long Island, and retired in June 2012. One of his retirement occupations is the completion of a book that is closely akin to the message in this article. Daddy, It’s Only A Game will be available soon through Bookstand Publishing, Amazon, Barnes & Noble and as an e-book.

Mommy, It’s Only A Game

(Has competitiveness gone too far?)

What are we doing to our kids? Over the past several decades, it has become obvious to anyone who attempts to stay abreast with the current media, that something has gone terribly wrong with the manner in which some athletes, parents, coaches, school administrations, and large corporations “promote” sports. We seem to be bombarded (with ever-increasing frequency) by an onslaught of negative reports regarding athletics on all levels of competition. I will not mention specific names here, but consider for a moment, just a few of the more recent “fallen heroes” - athletes on all levels – who have been the topic of some outrageously violent or dishonest acts in connection with their sport. Too many of these individuals, many of whom some of us, or our children, have aspired to emulate, have ended up in jail or even dead, because of their involvement in unethical or even criminal activities either on or off the playing field. Many of these and other celebrities have spent time in jail – some more than once. Yet, too many of the same have also returned to the spotlight, as if nothing at all had ever happened. And in many cases, even after a conviction, they have become all the more popular and sought after by both fans and professional teams. What does this say about our society? We are reinforcing and rewarding such negative behavior, and it is not limited to just the professional ranks.

This article is not intended to be an “America bashing.” There is enough violence to go around in the world of professional soccer both in the stands and on the field in Europe and in Central and South America. But the magnitude of violent acts in other countries seems to be dwarfed by that which occurs in the United States. Why? I don’t claim to have the answer. But the reasons for this recent explosion in acts of violence in the United States need to be further researched and honed in on, if we can ever hope to reduce or eliminate them completely. 

I am not against good, fair play in any “sport”, and that includes (believe it or not) the octagon cage. I am not in favor of banning any sport. I am, however, in strong support of the true enforcement of codes of conduct rules for both athletes and parents, as well as for spectators at professional games. 

An interesting article appearing in the November 2, 2013 issue of the New Yorker Staats-Zeitung & German Times by Renate Stoever entitled, Save America! Outlaw Baseball, Football, Basketball and Golf! accurately depicts - in a comical, sarcastic and yet an earnest manner - living with “sports mania” and all of the devastating effects it causes when fans go wild both in the stadiums, as well as at home in front of the television. Apparently writing from a (European-American) female’s perspective (if one exists), Ms. Stoever is right on the money when she denounces the overabundance of violence present on all levels of sports in this country and the negative impact that sports fanaticism (mainly by the men of the house) most often has on the entire family as well. Definitely a good read!

A code of conduct for school athletics and their parents was instituted in many states years ago as a knee jerk response to the problem of violence in sports by school districts. It looked like the right thing to do at the time. But has it really helped to lessen or alleviate the problem? In my observation, it has accomplished little toward lessening the amount of violence that is seen at this level or higher (See: references and sources). 

For decades now, we have been brow beaten with the idea of having to survive in our very competitive world, and that it was absolutely necessary to be aggressive (in all ways), if one expected to be successful in life. Not all ascribe to this mentality. Regardless of that fact, there is no justification for the apparent lack of character that is demonstrated by far too many athletes, coaches and parents at sporting events. Is there any positive correlation between the aggressiveness that we see on the playing field and in other aspects of our society? Does one stem from or augment the other? There seems to be no conclusive research available indicating any definite correlation.

So what might be some possible measures that could help to reverse this ugly syndrome of violence? Why not give our children hugs when they lose, instead of sad faces? Why not stop living vicariously through our child? Why not lobby both the federal and state governments to once and for all take the violence out of the video games, movies and music that is so prevalent today? Why not stop pushing our children toward winning those athletic scholarships to college, before we realize that the efforts toward that end are damaging both the children as well as the rest of the family in far too many cases? Why not let kids be kids? Why not teach our children through example the lessons of fair play, patience, humility, sportsmanship and manners? These things are too often conveniently and perhaps knowingly brushed aside and forgotten about during the excitement of a game, as well as off the field in the locker rooms and on the busses. Adults are appropriately charged with the task of teaching, or at least monitoring and promoting the above-mentioned character qualities among the children that they are raising or supervising. It’s to everyone’s benefit in the long haul, if adults meet the challenge. So let us all just do our job and hope that we get it right this time! Sports can do wonders for kids. But when sports go wrong, the consequences can sometimes be irreversible.

References and Sources: 

New Orleans Saints Bountygate scandal from 2009 through 2011; Sports Don’t Matter, Not One Iota, by Dr. Keith Ablow, MD, Psychiatrist and Fox News contributor, April 6, 2013; The Sports Parenting Edge, by Rick Wolff, Running Press, Copyright 2003; Dirty Secret Violence in Public Schools, by Neal McCluskey, School Reform News, June 1, 2005.

Sport, Violence and Society, by Kevin Young, Routledge Publishers, New York, NY, Copyright by Kevin Young 2012. Gun Violence in American Movies is Rising, Study Finds, by Michael. Cieply, The New York Times, November 11, 2013.