There’s an undercurrent that runs through most conversations we have with our kids about school and bad grades.

With some families it’s more explicit:

“We expect you to do well and earn A’s and B’s on your report card.”

With other families it’s less so, but still implied:

“We expect you to go into school each day and give it your best effort, no matter what.”

Regardless, it’s always a challenge to figure out how to react as a parent when report cards come home, or when you log in to see the grades, and the results are less than stellar.

On the one hand, bad grades represent a failure. They’re the one objective measure we have of how well our children are progressing through school. If they really understood the material, studied for the exams, and stayed organized and diligent, it would be pretty hard not to earn at least a B in most elementary, middle, and high school classes.

On the other hand, bad grades are not always a fair indication of how hard your child is trying, how much they’re learning, or what their potential for success later on in life is. Plus many students are still playing catch up after spending so much time away from campus during Covid shutdowns and quarantines. From that angle, we shouldn’t overreact to a C or D, especially because your son or daughter probably feels guilty about it already. But we should put stock into a C or D because that tells us they don’t have mastery over the content that counts.

In this post we’ll explore:

• What to do if your child comes home with bad grades and how to talk to them about it
• Whether you should punish your child for bad grades (or reward them for good grades)
• And how to investigate why it’s happening and what to do about it moving forward

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