A Network Connecting School Leaders From Around The Globe
Short summary of David Yeager’s book, 10 to 25: A Groundbreaking Approach to Leading the Next Generation—And Making Your Own Life Easier:
10 to 25 explores how adults—parents, educators, coaches, mentors—can more effectively support adolescents and young adults (ages 10–25) by reshaping how they interact with, guide, and encourage them. David Yeager blends developmental psychology research with practical insights, aiming to not only help support the next generation but also improve adults’ own well-being by reducing conflict and increasing mutual understanding.
Yeager challenges the stereotype of adolescence as a period defined by rebellion, irrationality, and strife. Instead, he reframes this developmental window (ages 10–25) as a time when young people are learning to transition into adult roles: gaining independence, testing identity, and forming values. Adults who acknowledge this growth arc can respond in ways that honor it, rather than trying to suppress it.
One of the book’s central contributions is expanding on Yeager’s research into how youth perceive authority:
Enforcers enforce rules and discipline without empathy, explanation, or investment.
Protectors enforce boundaries because they care, explain the reasoning behind them, set high expectations, and demonstrate belief in the young person’s potential.
Yeager emphasizes that young people are constantly assessing whether adults are on their side or against them. When adults convey protector traits—empathy, warmth, respect—it builds trust, engagement, and adaptive behavior. In contrast, enforcer behavior fosters resistance, oppositionality, and emotional distance.
Yeager offers three interconnected strategies for adults to be more effective and supportive:
Give feedback anchored in high standards, but framed with support for improvement.
Example: Beginning discipline or correction with “I expect you can handle this,” as opposed to “Why’d you do this again?”
The tone reshapes the interaction from punishment into collaborative growth.
Focus on establishing secure, respectful relationships before enforcing rules.
Take time to listen, show personal interest, and affirm strengths.
These relational foundations make guidance and discipline more effective and less confrontational.
Share your own experiences of struggle, failure, and growth.
When adults demonstrate how they navigate challenges, it normalizes that process for young people.
It also encourages a growth mindset: seeing ability as malleable through effort and reflection.
Yeager integrates insights from psychology:
Motivation theory: People engage more when they feel competent, connected, and autonomous.
Trust and status: Adolescents are acutely attuned to whether adults value them.
Growth mindset: Seeing traits as improvable fosters more persistence, resilience, and learning.
By signaling that you believe in their potential—and that discipline is a collaborative, caring act—you activate trust-based motivation rather than control-based compliance.
Yeager illustrates his framework with real-world scenarios:
In classrooms, teachers who frame late assignments as fixable/resubmittable with encouragement boost student ownership and learning.
With teen athletes, coaches who explain tactics and also share their own past missteps get more buy-in and team effort.
At home, parents who attach boundaries (e.g., curfew, chores) to respect and autonomy support foster deeper cooperation, not rebellion.
These stories highlight that the same message can be delivered in two ways—and that the tone and framing deeply affect whether the young person hears the message as caring or controlling.
Yeager emphasizes that protector leadership isn’t only beneficial for youth—it makes adults’ lives smoother:
Less conflict, more cooperation: You spend less time battling resistance and more guiding growth.
Greater satisfaction: Seeing a young person flourish is deeply rewarding.
Easier communication: A relational foundation makes teaching and setting limits simpler and more natural.
Adults who practice this approach report fewer power struggles, less stress, and more meaningful connections.
Yeager closes with an action-oriented toolkit:
Self-reflect: Notice when your tone leans toward “enforcer.” Ask yourself: Am I being empathetic? Do I convey belief in potential?
Revise your default scripts: Replace “Do this or else” with “I trust you to handle this—and I’ll support you through it.”
Practice small: Try short notes, check-ins, questions like: “How are you finding this project? What support would help you?”
Iterate and adapt: Watch for responses—trust grows, miscommunications reveal where tone still needs adjustment.
10 to 25 reframes relationships with adolescents and young adults—from top-down authority to protector-leader collaboration. Yeager’s central message is that small shifts in tone, framing, and mindset can unlock lasting engagement, reduce conflict, and build trust. By meeting youth as partners in development, adults not only help guide the next generation—they also make their own work more satisfying and impactful.
------------------------------
Prepared with the assistance of AI software
OpenAI. (2025). ChatGPT (4) [Large language model]. https://chat.openai.com
Tags:
SUBSCRIBE TO
SCHOOL LEADERSHIP 2.0
Feedspot named School Leadership 2.0 one of the "Top 25 Educational Leadership Blogs"
"School Leadership 2.0 is the premier virtual learning community for school leaders from around the globe."
-------------------------
As has been our custom, School Leadership 2.0 donated 100% of new membership fees in the the month of May to LI Cares.
---------------------------
Our community is a subscription based paid service ($19.95/year or only $1.99 per month for a trial membership) which will provide school leaders with outstanding resources. Learn more about membership to this service by clicking one our links below.
Click HERE to subscribe as an individual.
Click HERE to learn about group membership (i.e. association, leadership teams)
__________________
CREATE AN EMPLOYER PROFILE AND GET JOB ALERTS AT
SCHOOLLEADERSHIPJOBS.COM